Thursday, January 22, 2009

No Posts In 3 Months? Really?

Dialogue: mine, via MSPaint.

Forum/Impetus: The omnibrilliant yet humble R. Stevens of Dieselsweeties fame. And if you're not subscribed/blogrolled/otherwise addicted to that DieselSweeties rush, then I don't know that I can be your friend.



Monday, October 06, 2008

That's Right, I'm Writing About Tanya Tucker.

I hadn't thought twice about Tanya Tucker since I was a child and she was the Leann Rimes of her day in the early 70's. Fast forward to 2008 and the ridiculous availability of just about any song more than two people ever heard, and I'm plunking down a dollar to download a Tanya Tucker song.

I remember being five or six and entranced by her Would You Lay With Me (In A Field of Stone); the vocal, the melody, the arrangement, even the lyrics that I really didn't understand at that point. But, time marches on and so did my musical tastes, and until Amazon.com uncovered a wild hair in my ass a few days ago, it had been easily 25 years since I'd heard the song.

And, holy shit, it's even more jaw-dropping nearly thirty-five years later.

The opening moments, just Tucker's voice and (what I think must be) a triangle (!), sound like she decided to beat the Afghan Whigs to their arrangement for covering it. And those lyrics (by David Allen Coe, if you can believe it) are just fucking deadly:

Would you lay with me in a field of stone?
If my needs were strong, would you lay with me?


Now that I've got some context, historical and otherwise, just the fact this song was released and became a country hit for a 15 year old girl in 1974 renews my faith in America (cue patriotic music), that we as a people can continue to make hits of songs like this despite the social conventions and barriers of the day.

Seriously, check this jam out, even if you can't imagine what it would've sounded like on the radio when you were six.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Steve Foley, R.I.P.

Oh, man. My second thought, after Oh shit, that sucks. was Damn, he was 49?.

Overdosed on prescription drugs. Sad, sad, sad.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Man-Crush 2008

Robert Downey, Jr., to Rolling Stone magazine:


I’m such a work in progress at the moment, it’s crazy, and life wants me on edge, I swear to you. But as long as I don’t forget the past, I’m cool. One must always be mindful, just like you might forget that old girlfriend who tried to slit your throat, but she’s really still hot. If you remember the stitches more than you remember the pussy, you’re going to be just fine.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Damn, I Forgot I Actually Have A Blog For This Shit

Yet again, from a post on a message board, and not originally posted here:

Something Old
: Failure's Magnified and Fantastic Planet. Most words fail me regarding the production on these two (FP in particular); every instrument, every note is in its place. You can choose to focus on any one element of a song, or let the wall of it collapse all around you.

Something New: Paul Westerberg's new offering 49:00 (available for 49 American pennies, the mechanics of which are discussed elsewhere on Whitechapel). It's not a polished or organized affair by any stretch, but it is entertaining and never dull. I especially love the layering and abrupt cuts. Sounds like your old FM radio antenna's going bad and you're ping-ponging between stations, especially when the Replacements-esque "covers medley" begins. Thanks, Paul.

Something Borrowed: Mark Lanegan's Here Comes That Weird Chill. Probably the best non-rock voice in rock. Saw him with his Gutter Twins side-project the night before Easter this year and he was goddamned riveting. I've seen him live a few times, but this was different. Still as a statue all night, but projected... life, I guess.

Something Blue: Superdrag- Wrong Vs. Right Doesn't Matter. It may not be 12-bar structured verses of American Southern drawl and "hellhounds on my trail" (though they are from Tennessee), but if you're spitting out "you're the bastard embalmed in disaster", I'm not going to dispute your blues.

So that's it, Whitechapel. I'm ready to walk down the aisle.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Wow, A Love Hangover Is Way Easier.

I interrupt the (already-haphazardly) scheduled Tour Diary in progress to deliver the following:

My previous entry was the first thing I've written totally sober in at least six months, I'm guessing.

This includes blog entries, message board comments, my handwritten fiction writing notes, anything outside of Monday-Friday, 9 to 5 work product and the occasional daytime comment on Kissing Suzy Kolber or the like.

I don't know why I seemed to involve drinking in the writing process lately. I don't know why I'm posting this now. I really don't know if this post means I'm making a conscious effort to stop combining drinking and creating, or if I was ever making the former a kind of prerequisite for the latter.

I do know that the degree of difficulty in putting something out there was no greater sober than buzzed or addled. I do know that my anxiety after what I'd posted was just as monstrous yesterday as it was in any of the previous hungover days.

I do know that I've just written this because I had to get it out there, and didn't--couldn't wait until later tonight so I could crack open a Yeungling and a Red Bull and get started.

Hmmm. As I write this, I think I'm starting to see what those liquids were really doing...

Thursday, June 05, 2008

I Wanna Be Abhorred: Tim On Tour, Part Five

Day One Continued: The New World Brewery

After more than eight hours of driving, the last forty minutes spent circling the same half-mile stretch in Ybor City looking for the place we've all actually been to before, we finally arrive at rock show central, The New World Brewery. Zac got directions from Nessie leader Scott, so I do what rookie band-guy does: follow the frontman. (Though I actually printed Mapquest directions for the two clubs. I also own a TomTom but didn't bring it, which led to this from Zac the next day, AFTER AGAIN DRIVING AROUND BEHIND HIM LOST: "Hey man, why didn't you bring that TomTom?" Priceless.)

Apparently no harm done, as we're the only ones aggravated by our tardiness. We don't even need to unload our gear yet, as local legend Joe Popp (and his band The Hornrims) is setting up for his reunion show and playing first.

In fact, we are welcomed by our gracious hosts as the Nessie gents bring greetings. They are quite excited to see us (fellow bassist Joey refers to DFKF as Nessie's "brother band", and that's hard to dispute if you've heard them or us), and are pleasantly surprised that I made the trip and am actually playing with the band.

New World offers godhead pizza (which we've all been dreaming of since before we left), and an even greater beer selection (very potent brews in lovely bottles, a zillion drafts I've never heard of before... just stunning). Coincidentally, eating and drinking are all I can think of to combat my blossoming anxiety attack and to keep me occupied enough to not lock myself in the car until our show is cancelled. Between swallows, I try and mentally "play" the songs in my head; I really suck in my head. (By the way, seldom mentioned tourmate Shawn has made the trip from New Orleans with Zac just to record tonight's proceedings... I want to drink a gallon of beer right now just remembering that.)

In conversation with Jason as we unknowingly kept passing the bar, I brought up my nerves as we approached Zero Hour. He, apparently, has no idea how or why I could be uptight before the show, because he's never ever been nervous in this situation. And he's been playing in bands for probably 20 years. (Not helping, that one.) He manages to put me at ease a little, "Everything we do revolves around 4 notes: A, G, D, C. If you get stuck, just aim for one of those." Good and well-intentioned advice, but it was really sinking in that they've played these songs about 200 times more than I have. I had another beer and managed to at least remind myself that they accepted my offer to play not out of desperation, but because they felt I could pull it off.

The place is filling up (oh great, it's a pre-wedding party!) and Joe Popp and the Hornrims blow through their loose, playful set in what seems like record time. There's no real stage, just a flat wooden deck on top of the cobblestone brick patio for the bands, so audience contact is pretty easy and unpredictable. The same friendly lady who plopped down at our table earlier with her husband/boyfriend put on a nice little dance in and among the Hornrims as if at their direction. I began hoping she wouldn't pull a hamstring or tweak an ankle, so she could give an encore later and provide a little cover for whatever horrors I was about to unleash on poor Andrew, Jason and Zac.

A quick (thank god) mic and level check, and it's time to put up, then shut up. No setlist, which at first gave me bug-eyed pause, but probably the last thing I needed to be doing while playing song A was to be worrying about the changes in Song B. Hyperdrive first, just like practice. There's no way to confirm it because no video evidence exists, but I'm pretty sure that while playing the song fine, I looked like I'd just caught malaria. I began trying to approach the show like a job interview, make some eye contact and don't fidget but don't be stiff, either.

...audience contact is pretty easy and unpredictable... That part rears its head during the set after about the third song when I actually find myself in conversation with a new fan through the open doorway between our patio stage and the barroom proper. He likes the music, wants to know as much about us as I can tell him before it's time to, y'know, play, and points out that the vibrations from my (borrowed--thanks, Joey)bass head are making the can of beer atop it spin in a circle. I am now thoroughly loose and confident and not making any major mistakes.

Turns out, I was just saving up for the perfect occasion to shit in our collective cornflakes.

A pause in the action gives Jason a chance to introduce me and tell a much shorter and better version of How I Got to This Point. I didn't hear much of what he said, because I was too busy trying to hide behind Zac. He closes his monologue by introducing Turnin' Blue as the "trickiest song we have. Give him a hand and wish him luck." Which the folks do (and there's still an alarming number of them here), and away we go. I only flub a note or two, and continue to ride this wave of confidence. I guess the guys feel it too, prefacing Stuck it Out as "as good as we get. It's all downhill from here." The song actually starts with a staccato riff of F to A to G (see above). I preferred to show 'em how we do it up on Mars, firing off a nice G to B to A, and finding out for the first time that Zac actually does possess heat vision. He turns, glares, and quickly demonstrates the proper starting point. Grreeeeeeaat. The one song they want our best feet forward on, and I start it horribly. I recover reasonably well, and am not shaken too badly. If this is bad as it gets, then I'll surely be spoken well of later.

This wasn't as bad as it gets. See, we did a song called The 11th of Pants in practice. It uses what the kids call "Dropped-D" tuning, and requires the lowest string to be tuned to a non-standard D. I think I hear Jason tuning his E string and assume that Pants is coming (again, we have no setlist), and turn to get my bass up to speed. Turns out he was just fine tuning that E, and our planned Big Finish is actually on the agenda: original song Takin 'Er Easy will fade into a cover of the Stone Roses' I Wanna Be Adored, and the crowd will of course go apeshit and drown us in whiskey and foreplay for the rest of our visit. Only I'm not ready, frantically re-tuning and failing miserably. It just doesn't sound right for the entire goddamn song; it all sounds flat. I try and compensate by moving my positioning up one fret, but it's all tits-up by the time the song is over.

(Did I mention this was all being recorded?)

So, not the spectacle we'd planned when the first half of the big finish ends. Just me re-tuning awkwardly and Jason trying to make it funny and Zac trying not to roll his eyes so hard that they come loose and stifling a groan. On the bright side, with me fully in tune, we ace the cover and exit to wild applause. But I feel horrible at concentrating my screwups on the worst possible times. Not many things feel worse than the idea that you might have really let your friends down, but doing it after riding 8 hours to do it surely does.

I hit the bar like it's my last night on earth. But, I do get plenty of pats on the back, three "it wasn't bad" from Zac, Jason, and Andrew, and one "you guys were awesome" delivered to me personally (by who I suspect was a ladyfriend of Joey's and as such put up to it--there's that guy again, being terrific), and I'm a little surprised how easy I can let go of the small disasters.

The bad-ass soundman (whose name escapes me--is it Mark? Mike? Keith?) demands we go across the street to the liquor bar so he can buy us shots of Bulliet bourbon (incredible--I picked the wrong year to quit drinking brown liquor). Now I feel like I'm in a band, if only for the next 48 hours.

Cue up the afterglow.

Labels:

I'm the Snowman, You're the Fred. Because I'm Driving, That's Why: Tim On Tour, Part Four

I swear to God, Jason's iPod was made on the planet Oa. It seems to have a battery charge of at least 24 hours, and is shaped by his ridiculous willpower. I haven't winced one time at any song that thing's spit out, nor has Jason skipped anything abruptly (like I would've if my iPod was in use--I've got Nash Kato's solo record on there for chrissakes).

We're on the east side of Tallahassee, our Whataburger feasts resting on our lap. I stop being fussy with the placement of my food after realizing I would have absolutely no problem with that delicious white gravy spilling on any item in that box of greasy delights. Put it on my tombstone: that's good eatin'.

Next stop: Ocala, after a few back-n-forth phone calls to the other DFKF vehicles. It feels comforting in a Smokey & the Bandit way. Gas and lottery tickets (my secret vice for this weekend) from an Ocala belle long on updates regarding her personal life and a little short on the oral hygeine. Nice lady, who's putting her stimulus check and recent lottery windfall to good use. She's paying off the bills, and only allowed herself one splurge: Diane Lane's Untraceable "on the DVD". (Had she told me she bought it on VHS, I would've tried to talk her out from behind the counter to come with us and play bass.)

Swear to god, we did play two shows, and I have thoughts on them. Patience is a virtue.

Labels: , ,