Thursday, April 05, 2007

My Life, Starring Someone Skinnier and Cooler.

I won't bore you with much background: this was a survey the mighty Jason Hurt posted called the Soundtrack to Your Life, one of those "put your iPod/MP3 player on shuffle and write down what song plays for each section" of said soundtrack. His turned out pretty well, so I tried my hand at it.

Opening Credits:
Ok Go - Let it Rain (both the opening/closing credits sound like they were picked by an honest-to-god, focus-group worshipping movie producer. Peppy, though.)

Waking Up:
Catherine Wheel-Mad Dog (I can make this work--it slurs along much like I do from 7-10 am)

First Day At School:
Sonic Youth-Cinderella's Big Score (If I started school at age 30 maybe. And I went to Greyhound Elementary School. And the first bell rang at 10:30 at night.)

Falling In Love:
Solomon Grundy - Gone ("We will be together, we will be forever" all set to a Molly Ringwald/Pretty In Pink new wave beat. I'll totally take it.)

Fight Song:

Afghan Whigs - Crime Scene Pt. 1 (Stick it to my enemies, tonight.)

Breaking Up:
Eagles of Death Metal - I Want You So Hard (My friends broke us up, apparently)

Playing Cowboys & Indians in the Woods:
Lifter Puller - The Flex and the Buff Result (Fucking bizarre. We both ended up with songs about unsavory, big city grown-up stuff that comes directly before some real commandment-breaking. Mine is about a loan shark, and some threatened arson and murder. I guess "cowboys and indians" is just a big metaphor for drugs and murder these days. Fucking kids ruin everything.)

Nash Kato - Octoroon (much like my prom, vaguely about Laetitia Casta and making little sense otherwise.)


Swearing at Motorists - Lost Your Wig (one scene too early)

Mental Breakdown:
Foo Fighters - Tired of You (Good title. Not much to do with my breakdown. I guess my soundtrack was just bummed out by Lost Your Wig.)

Nels Cline Singers - Suspended Head (An instrumental. Dead on, in that it goes in a couple of different directions in just 4 minutes.)

Archers of Loaf-Ethel Merman (I'd like to think I turned out just like Ethel Merman, don't you?)

Getting Back Together:
The Hives - Knock Knock (Yee-ikes! I wonder if SHE knows we're back together.)

Mark Lanegan - Wish You Well (Sweet fucking christ. My filmed wedding contains a live-action Corpse Bride ripoff. Damn, I was hoping my movie'd be a little more original and not so cookie cutter.)

Birth of Child:
Patton Oswalt - 80's Metal (same comedy record as you. Guess what? Our kid's gay! Squibbidy Flabbidy Doo! Thank you, Night Ranger!)

Final Battle:
Mastodon - Seabeast (My final battle is apparently with Moby Dick. And it involves volume and grunting.)

Death Scene:
David Cross - Even Though I Am In The Closet, That Won't Prevent Me From Getting Cheap Laughs At The Expense of Homosexuals (This is turning out surprisingly accurate-I have always imagined I'd shuffle off the mortal coil during a David Cross show where he riffs on about something and titles it something completely different. Eerie.)

Funeral Song:
The Hold Steady-Citrus ("Hey whiskey, hey ginger, I come to you with rigid fingers" Take that, Moby Dick! This might actually be playing at my funeral, right after Brown Sugar and just before Rock For Light.)

End Credits:
Ted Leo - Since You Been Gone (I swear I'm not making this up. Some producer would go directly to this on purpose. The Kelly Clarkson original would've been pretty dope, too.)


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