Holmes, Cruise to Star In Remake of Rosemary's Baby

Just in time for Halloween, I saw Katie Holmes doing the first bit of press for the project, staying in character the whole time (unlike her work in Batman Begins), slipping only when referring to the father of the titular Baby as "Tom Cruise" and not Guy Woodhouse, the character's name in the film.

Waitaminnit, you mean she's actually carrying his child?! Hm. Honest mistake.

We have an actor whose middling talents are dwarfed by his immense ambition. We have Ms. Girl-next door, expecting a child of, shall we say, dubious conception (and by that I mean, "yeah right, Tom Cruise knocked her up"). For good measure, let's throw a big fat cult into the mix. You can see how I got confused.

All we need is for the late Ralph Bellamy to be photographed walking around with them, and I'll be convinced.